Sonnet to a Sewer

I'm selling this toilet in my shop.
I have a vintage toilet for sale at Laura's Last Ditch, which reminds me of a poem I wrote in college:

Sonnet to a Sewer 
O sewer, sewer, sewer, sewer, PEW! 
Our waste to you flows ever deep within--
The poop, the pee, the barf, dead goldfish, too.
You take for us what's vile and sick as sin.

 Each time above a toilet fills with waste, 
With pools of numbers one or two, yea, three, 
One needs but flush, the deed will be erased. 
We are so glad you're here for us, you see.
Without a sewer all would surely drown
Amidst the flowing rivers made of dung. 
Without a sewer, stench would fill the town. 
Your praises e'er will stay on ev'ry tongue.

By taking waste that you made not yourself, 
Long life you grant us, sparing precious health.   


  1. This is BRILLIANT!! Truly worthy of publishing!

  2. I love how the ads it's posting to the right (at least right now) are for "Best Sonnet Books" and "That Pee Stink is Gone."

  3. OMG, I have a girl crush on you, Laura. You wrote a poem about a toilet in college? Beats the poem about chickens I wrote in college, that begins, "Something set me off careening
    and I didn't know when to stop
    Screeching, scratching and insisting
    My opinion was on top."

    Found you via your etsy forum post asking about using the toilet in your search ad. If anything, it would make great Regretsy bait. I'm still scratching my head trying to come up with something to list that brings in the kind of publicity that Regretsy generates!

    Best of luck!

  4. Oh, I'd love to be on Regretsy! Perhaps if I include a copy of my poem with the toilet?


I'd love to have your comments and reflections!